Heavenly Father is having a HUGE laugh right now. He switched it up on me and gave me the "good" child first and now I'm SUFFERING with Bree. This child is the devil. No way around it. I can already picture the future: she's gonna be the one that terrorizes all the nursery kids and anyone she runs into at the playground. And I can just see it now, she's gonna be... "the biter." You ALL know the one. I'm apologizing now for any future teeth marks on your children's arms. Oh ya, and any missing clumps of hair. I'm seriously losing my mind with this one. I know you're all gonna tell me it's b/c she really wants to talk and can't communicate what she wants or needs. But that's not it-I can feel it in my guts...and I think I ruled that one out through trial and error. She's out to ruin me and make sure we don't have any other kids (she already won that round-scheduled for an IUD-we'll wait awhile and see if she becomes normal). She is so bipolar. Not kidding, she'll come up to me with a smile on her face and babbling something. So, like the WONDERFUL mom that I am, I respond with a smile and excitement. So then she has the NERVE to go all crusty-eyed on me and scream out and pinch my skin. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THAT COME FROM?????? I figured out today that if I completely ignore her then she's okay for a little bit. Mind you, I said a little bit. Out of the blue she'll throw herself on the floor and scream like she's been wronged in the worst way. Or she'll be walking around and then suddenly start crying like she's been hit over the head with an anvil (and don't think I haven't thought of doing that at this point!!!!). She'll come to me wanting to be picked up, but the second I touch her I either lose hair, get my skin gouged, or get a smack in the face. She's not sick, there aren't any teeth coming in, she's getting enough to eat (and THAT'S a whole other story-just think bottomless pit), she's getting enough stimulation. I've tried going for walks, playing outside, swimming, having her be my "helper", coloring, watching a movie, etc.So...I already know I'm losing my mind. If anyone has any thoughts on the matter, I'm willing to try ANYTHING! I want my happy baby back!!! 
23 comments:
I'm sorry... That is so hard. I hope you are not doubting the fact that you are a WONDERFUL mother though. If you need a break, feel free to drop her off at my house for awhile... Serious!
I don't have advice other than to pray for patience and love! I'll pray for you too! :)
I will take her. In the meantime ignore her behaviors, just make sure she is in a safe place. If she starts throwing a tantrum or throwing a fit while in your possesion (such as you are holding her), do your best at putting her gently down in a safe place and leave the room, don't say anything - walk away. She has learned how to push your buttons good! When she has settled down, go find her and give her a love, then go about doing what needs to be done. When she does it again, do the same. She is getting a reaction out of you - and that is a reward for her behavior. When there is no reaction there is no reward.
And I am so very sorry she is giving you fits. She will outgrow this, really. Motherhood is one of the hardest jobs around. The fact that you signed up for it says alot about your character. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL mother! Don't let a 2 yr. old defeat you!!! You might look into ODD and see what techniques they suggest in helping deal with strong-willed children-something might ring true in addressing these behaviors.
Hang in there. This too shall pass. I love you.
It's because she has red hair and an orange nose! I have to agree with mom and to realize that she SO knows how to push your buttons. Once you yourself realize this-you will be calm enough to handle it! And if you can't...shoot...IT's all about the Zoloft baby! I love you!!!!
LOL. You somehow manage to write about this with humor! Having never had a child, angelic or devilish, I have no advice. Good luck!
dave asked me at the gym yesterday why we haven't been around as much. i have no real reason other than it was divine intervention keeping me away from yelling children. hahaha. kyle's therapist told us children need boundaries to feel loved and some test them more than others, but you can't give in. put her in a padded room, and get yourself some noise canceling headphones...otherwise you'll have a kid who is totally enabled and you'll still be getting her HW assignments from her teachers for her when she's in 12th grade. not that that happened to kyle or anything.
and i agree with the red hair. bad genes.
Ok, I know your family already told you this, but I would ignore it too. My parents said there were about three times I threw myself into a full blow seizure when I was her age over M&M's of all things. The things I would do for chocolate!! The Dr told them to make sure I took my first breath and to walk away before I saw them, and I stopped. I am curious about having a baby in the winter months in PA, the advice will be appreciated. Thanks, we are heading there in a week, yay.
Do you really think it is the red hair and orange nose that causes such behaviors? :)
It really could be the red hair and orange nose. Sidney has been on a similar fit lately, having bitten Owen three times in the last week. All three times we where right there watching them play, and out of nowhere she bit him on the nose, forehead, and arm. All three left marks for at least 24 hours. So...I bit her back! Real soft at first, then gradually increasing the pressure until she cringed and had a mark herself. I dont know if that was the right thing to do, but it got the poitn across, for now at least. But yes, 2 year old red heads. WOW!!!
Good luck. Dont do anything rash. Telisha calls me at least once a week for venting!
See you at Thanksgiving. Maybe our biting children can go at it for a while. We'll see who wins. Sidney has a very dominating and stubborn side as well. Must be something to do with being a Packard. I wouldnt have guessed. :)
Nathan
Thanks for making me happy that my kids are so old....I am usually just getting more and more sad every day.
O.k. I have so many thoughts, but first is that you know how to get a lot of comments, don't you...I should cry out for help and see how it helps my comment count. :) I might have to make something up about my kids just for some extra comment love:)
O.k. second, I am cracking up at the Bipolar reference...I have said that about my kids from time to time, but mostly they have grown out of that. But, as a recovering BiPolar (he he) medication is a wonder.
But, seriously, you need to try getting her checked for allergies...my daughter has them bad and she is so miserable whenever she is having symptoms.
And, when she bites..give her three strikes...then she it out..and out every time...it works...give her three warnings and then whenever she bites, you need to bite her...it doesn't have to be hard, but I did this with my kids and all three of them never bit again...you have to get all lovey with them after and tell them that you love them and don't want them to hurt, but you needed to help them understand how badly they are hurting others.
And, last piece of advice..watch Super Nanny...her ideas work!
O.k just read what your mom said about looking into ODD and she may really have something there...I was really struggling with my second and potty training, when I prayed I felt I should look into autism and potty training...it helped me a TON! She't not autistic, but the techniques worked like a charm for me and gave me a lot more patience.
And, after reading everyone wanted to add another two cents about not reacting when she acts like this...the absolute worst thing you can do it let her see you laugh at her behavior....make sure you walk away far before laughing.
And, I can't say enough about positive parenting....a child's worst nightmare is NOT getting your attention, so when they don't deserve it, don't give it to them...and give it to them extra good when they are extra good.
Oh, and by the way, I am sure that you are a great mom, but you asked and I have to just write a book. :)
Good luck...and remember to hang on until they are all older than 4...life seems so much better after the last one turns 4...until the teen years I am told.
Funny that Heavenly Father gave me my good one first as well...then my handful. It started at birth and now and 2.5...still going. Not all rotten...but at times I think maybe.
But my fav...is that you took pics of these tantrums. That's classic! Good ammo for her future.
Keep Smiling!!!!
love her and wait. that's what I did with Evie. Evie got kicked out of nursery for biting and throwing cars at others' heads.
just make sure you enjoy her!!
and just know this, anyone who judges you for having the "biting kid" gets a stinker of their own. I'm certain of it. Its a theory i have that has never failed me.
We all have at least one of them is what it feels like after reading everyone's comments before responding. BUT my lil' girl is the same way and it made me feel extremely okay with life once I read your post.
Chad turned to me on Sunday at church and asked me if Kiki was going to push me into a nervous break down. That turned a stressful situation into something very comical...I laughed the next day when Chad was about to lose his cool at that same almost 2-yr old??!!
BUT, my ulimate analysis of the whole sitch is that she is seeking ANY type of attention even if it's negative attention. So now I am making a concerted effort to pay LOTS more attention to her before her negative seeking moods. And the best approach I took was when I learned that it was healtheir to let her cry then for me to get to the crying stage. Her lungs can handle a good cry and then once she was settled down, I tried to talk peace to her:) Heck, you are right when you say you get to the point when you will try anything!!!!
It must be their father's genes right?????
First of all...no one has perfect kids, and the ones who say they do aren't being honest with themselves. :) HA! How's that?!!
So! Rachey used to throw terrible fits. She'd lay down in the middle of the floor kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason. Scary!!! Anyway, I pretty much did what your mom suggested. I would either leave the room until she stopped, or I would take her to her own room and shut the door and tell her I would miss her and see her when she could calm down.
When she was 3, Andy told her that if she couldn't "cool down" he'd put her in the shower. He did. I wouldn't suggest stuff like that, it did get her to stop at the moment, but I think it just made her more angry inside.
I completely agree with your Mom and Chrissy. Love her tons and be patient, know that your an AWESOME MOTHER!!! And...kindly remove attention from her when she acts up, and give her more attention when she's calmed down. :)
Seriously, you are an amazing mother and friend...you're one of the ones we all look up to, so keep in the game!!! Don't despair!
hahahahahaaha...ok, i am laughing at the way you describe it, you are funny. I can imagine the difficulty and must say you are more patient than I. Takes time i guess, but who knows how much!!!
Lets start a club for battered Moms. I get abused daily from Kade and can totally relate to be dumbfounded by a toddlers irrationalities! Good Luck, Im in the trenches with you.
Have you met MY children?!!? You seem about 100% normal...hang in there! (NOTICE -- I did not say things would get easier! I'm still waiting for that to happen. Just keep having more children...that way, one of them will like you. Ha ha!)
WOW. I'm not sure how to help. But as far as I can remember Ivory is around the same age (she's 19 mo now)? And it doesn't sound like she's as intense but she's been throwing tons of fits. And if Solomon says something she doesn't like she does this whiny "eehh", really high pitched. Ya, a little touchy. So I don't know, but I love you, hang in there, I'm sure it will get better. Lots of prayers!
lol o goodness! she is so cute still no matter what u say!! give me a call if u guys want me to babysit again! even if they are awake i love ur kids!
Here is one from the Jay and Barbara book. When Jana (yes sweet Jana) was 2 years old she was getting into that lovely stage you are in. When one of the brothers was visiting they told Jay and Barbara that they needed to get a hold on her before things really got even worse....their advice? Stick her head under the shower. Jay and Barbara both say that she never acted that way (of course at this stage in life I am sure they have forgotten a few things, but we will go with it) again, and look at how GREAT SHE TURNED OUT!!!!!
Loralee, sorry I have not gotten back to you sooner. I tried to leave you a comment the other day and for some reason my computer was having issues and I was not able to leave the comment. You asked about the little "booty shorts" (that's what I call them), and where I got them. They actually came from The Quilted Bear. I know that is not much help considering The Quilted Bear is only here in Utah. However, I was reading and it looks like you guys will be visiting for Thanksgiving. Maybe you can get some then. If not, I noticed that all that they are, are tights that have been cut off. Maybe a little sewing would be required to avoid fraying, but you are so crafty it would be no problem. Hopefully that is of some help to you.
Oh Lo... I'm so sorry! I don't have any jewels of wisdom, but I think your mom is right. Time outs are working for Dixie. When she hits, I first take her hand and tell her "No" sternly and then with her hand I show her how to "be soft" and stroke my face instead of hitting it. Then if she does it another time or two, I take her to the back room for a time out and close the door. She screams and screams but I just let her and then I go get her after about 3 minutes (the time has to be age appropriate) and then I just hold her and hug her and love her. She has gotten a lot better after only 2 or 3 time outs. Now she only needs a reminder to be soft and she stops hitting (more or less). :)
I've gotta say, too, that I really disagree with the concept of biting your child to teach them not to bite. Same goes with spanking your child to teach them not to hit. That's like teaching your kid not to drink beer by showing them how drunk you can get. But that's just my two cents worth.
Good luck lady! I feel for you!
I don't think there is any advice I could give that would add to anything that already has been posted. But, just know, that it will pass...and don't jump to autism and other disorders too quickly (not that you are...I just saw a couple of comments alluding to that). People are over-diagnosing SO MUCH these days. She seems like a quintessential toddler. When you think of stereotypes of the toddler, she comes to mind. I bet this will be over in due time (whatever "due time" means). Keep enduring.
Post a Comment