I discovered the other day that I have finally outgrown the emotional scars of high school. I was walking in the Target parking lot carrying some luggage we got from there that had broken in one hand and a broken pink piano in the other. It was a busy day so I was trying to watch the cars to make sure I wouldn't get hit. A car full of high school kids was rolling up and to my surprise they stopped to let me by which was kind of them.
Unfortunately I didn't notice that where I was standing, out of my line of sight due to the luggage carrying, was a piece of police tape right at ankle level. That's an interesting thing about Cleveland, there's police tape everywhere. I don't know if there was an actual crime committed there or if some police officer was just bored and decided to tape the area off. Either way I didn't see it. So when I gave that car full of teenagers a grateful nod and started to walk I was stunned to find that my foot had been trapped by some mysterious force and only thanks to my serious athletic ability did I manage to stay upright.
A rational person would at this point look down to see what had ensnared them. But I refused to be controlled by rational thought. "Let's just try that again" I said. This time I almost hit myself in the head with the pink piano because my arms were flailing around in a windmill motion trying to keep my balance. "Well, that didn't work. What would happen if I started out with my other foot?" I think you get the point.
This whole battle with gravity and police tape only lasted a few seconds but during that time I managed to achieve positions usually only seen in Olympic gymnastics. Let us not forget that there is a car full of teenagers right in front of me wetting their pants laughing at the fat white guy tripping over a small piece of tape over and over again. Eventually I freed myself and looked up to see them pointing and pounding their heads against the dashboard in pubescent glee. And here's the magical part, I didn't care. I'm almost 30 and I finally discovered that the psychological hold high school had on me is no longer there. Life is full of little miracles.
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12 comments:
hahaha...i love the way you describe your daily happenings. You are so funny!
funny how that story was conspicuously absent from any conversations on sunday. i think it goes without saying that is exactly the kind of story I would enjoy.
That's hilarious! And the prepubescent part of me wishes I had been in that car, banging my own head against the dashboard in pure happiness. Does that qualify me as immature?
After all your gymnastic moves - did you remember to take a bow? That would have been sweet!
that's HILARIOUS!!! I would've been hitting my head against the dash board laughing as my almost 30 year old self too....we can still act high school right?
in response to Ann's question. Yes I did take a little bow. I felt I had earned it for managing to stay on my feet.
did loralee get you a ribbon wand for christmas so you can join the Olympic rythmic dance team?
loved the story....so funny. only cause i've done similar.
I was laughing OUT LOUD reading this. Only because I do this all the time...make a fool of myself. Glad to see someone else has joined the club.
Thanks for the laugh! I love your posts Dave!
Hey Loralee,
Thank you for the message. It is so fun when you can reconnect with someone and have a new blogging friend. Yeah! I loved looking at the pictures of your little girls. I remember when Emma was just a little baby and now she is so grown up. How fun that you also have two girls. Don't you love it! If their is a perfect mom of girls it is definitly you. I remember how cute Emma always looked with her bows, bracelets, etc. All the girly stuff. How fun! I can't wait to keep up on what you guys are doing.
Love, Michelle
I'm in the car with the rest of the high schoolers! :) Laughed out loud at this one, Dave. Hilarious! You have such a comical way of retelling your life. I hope you're printing out these blogs or something so your kids can go back and read them some day. It's hysterical.
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