The Humbling of Dave

Since everyone bowed down to my threat before, although I don't feel quite right about it with Debbie's cheating, I've decided to share some more highlights of my life that I hope you enjoy.

I've noticed that when things are going well for me the world seems to take issue with my general contentment. I don't know if it just wants to punish me specifically or if it feels that everyone needs a punch in the gut every now and then. But I've had a few experiences lately that have made me look to the heavens and wonder what the crap's going on.

As you may have observed in our various family photos, personal fitness hasn't been too high on my priority list these past few years. I like to blame this on various factors such as school, family commitments, the general deliciousness of lard filled goodies. In any case my figure has taken on a more rotund shape of late.

I've made it a goal this year to get into reasonably good shape prior to turning 30 and I've lost some weight as a result. A few days ago I was feeling particularly sexy because I was wearing one of my special shirts that make me look more muscular (every guy has some just like every girl has their skinny looking clothes). Anyway, while helping Emma with something she looks up at me, pats me on my somewhat round belly, and asks, "When's the baby going to come out of your tummy daddy?" Needless to say I went upstairs and took off my sexy shirt.

Today was another example of the world trying to keep my spirits down. I'm working at the free dental clinic all week and I have to walk a 1/2 mile or so from school to get there. The weather today was a balmy 10 degrees and closer to 0 once you included the wind chill. I was walking along on my way to McDonalds (there's no need to point out that McDonalds won't help with my pregnancy problem)

I was feeling good about my service to humanity when I see one of the fine Cleveland city buses driving towards me. I also looked at the road just ahead of me and noticed a very large puddle filled with slush and ice right in the path of the bus. I looked at the bus driver to see if he saw the same thing, which it was obvious he did by the sudden look of glee that spread across his face. I tried to get out of the way but since I was walking under a tunnel at the time there wasn't much space to escape to. Well, you can picture for yourself what happened next.

On the bright side, being sprayed with near frozen water while walking in below freezing temperature is a good way to clear the mind. And my clear mind told me that I could feel good because life had done it's best to get me down today and I was still in a good mood.

Feeling like I had shown a strong amount of moral fortitude I trudged on to McD's to eat some well earned french fries. Upon walking into the relatively empty restaurant the teller took notice of my soaked scrubs pants, pointed at me, and began to laugh. Loudly. At which point she called over her manager so he could join in on the laughing and pointing. I explained what had happened and to my surprise neither of them seemed to think a bus driver intentionally soaking a pedestrian in hypothermic weather conditions was very unusual. The manager even gave me a look like, "what did you expect to happen?"

After eating my food with only 2 interruptions from homeless people asking me for money I headed back to the free clinic. And to top off my trials a very large black man bit me while I was trying to pull out his tooth. So now I will go to bed tonight a little fatter, somewhat frost bitten, and with a sore and possibly virally infected hand. But I will be humble and tomorrow I'll try to remember to keep my head down because the world might just come up and sucker punch me again if I'm not careful.